In This Life or the Next Read online

  I just realized I've been saying ‘I’ for a while now. It feels very strange. I never carried or lost a child, yet I did. I loved you, yet I barely know you. I never loved my friend, and now I do. That's the main thing I wanted to tell you. This man who loved me so much, he is my husband today. And I love him now as much as I couldn't love him back then.

  We could have met earlier in this life, Marc, and we'd have had another chance. But it's not the end of the story. Even if we're not together in this life or even in the next, we'll be together again someday. We can't not be together again. We've had so many happy years, I just know we will have many more. Just not this time around.

  Take care of yourself. Live a beautiful life. And maybe you'll tell me all about it next time.

  With love,"

  Tania hesitated about what name to sign, just as she had hesitated about whom to address the letter to, but in the end she signed it ‘Tania'. Lauren would never have said goodbye to him, she would have fought and sacrificed everything to go back to him. Marie might have, too. Lizzie, certainly. As for the others...

  It didn't matter, though. She had been them, once upon a life, but she wasn't anymore, and it was Tania, the spouse of Alex, who had written these words after a night spent in his arms.

  Folding the letter carefully after she had read it one last time, she slid it an envelope and wrote Marc's name on it. Then, turning it between her fingers, she considered it for a moment. She couldn't speak to him, but somehow she felt like she had to deliver the letter herself. Simply mailing it would have been too impersonal.

  She took the bus to his apartment with some trepidation, and when she started climbing the stairs toward his third floor, her heart was already hammering in her chest. She debated, once in front of his door, about knocking and giving him the letter in hand, but finally went for the easier option and slid it under his door, her hand shaking as she did. She could hear noises inside and she quickly retreated, but she had yet to reach the first landing when she heard the door open behind her. She couldn't help it then; she had to turn back and look at him.

  Standing on the threshold, he held the letter and looked down toward her. She could see that he was about to speak, but she shook her head and his mouth closed soundlessly. She gave him a smile, a small, sad, slightly apologetic smile, and he slowly answered in kind. Much was said, in these few wordless seconds, more than Tania had even written in the letter.

  Taking a deep breath, she turned away and started down the stairs again, the soft click of the latch echoing in the staircase when he closed his door. Tears were rising to her eyes when she reached the street, but she didn't hesitate before walking away, and she didn't look back toward the window behind which she was sure he stood.

  It felt a little strange to leave like this, almost as though she were leaving Lauren, Marie, Anna and the others behind her, and betraying them. But it was the right thing to do for Tania, and she had no regret.

  * * * *

  Two weeks later, a delivery van parked in the driveway shortly after Alex had come home from work, and he accepted the slim package addressed to both him and Tania. His features were grim when he read aloud the name of the expeditor, and Tania's heart skipped a beat or two. They opened the package together and she opened wide eyes when the painting was revealed.

  Marc had finished the portrait of her she had glimpsed before, and added a man, just behind her, where she appeared to be leaning on him. The likeness of Alex didn't give out the same feeling of energy and love the rest of the painting did, but it was well executed, and if Tania hadn't seen the portrait in its early stage, she wouldn't have guessed it had been added as an afterthought. A note fell from the package as they pulled the canvas completely free. Unsigned, it only bore a few words.

  "I know we will meet again, in this life or the next."

  The End

  About the Author:

  Kallysten is a French citizen whose most exciting accomplishment to date was to cross a few thousand miles and an ocean to pursue (and catch!) the love of her life. She has been writing for almost fifteen years, and always enjoyed sharing her stories and listening to the readers’ reactions. After playing with science fiction, short stories, poetry and fanfiction, she is now trying her hand, heart and words at paranormal romance novels.

  An Alinar Publishing Publication:

  www.alinarpublishing.com

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